Saturday, February 26, 2011


Recently someone made a very disturbing, very grotesque assumption about me. Now, I don't know where it came from or how such ideas could fester in anther's head about me, except for in the case of someone who didn't know me. These types of inferences are unavoidable in life, we all do it, at some point, but it's silly, stupid, childish, ignorant, and a downright harmful thing to do.

For someone who has posited a number of soulful and personal things in public eye, many of which I know to be untrue, it essentially destroys my hope for humanity to know that the same person then creates further falsehoods, on a dime, with no questions asked, on which to operate a worldview that seeks to discover truth.

Hypocrisy is the most unattractive attribute a person can have.

Friday, February 25, 2011

The wall of notes

A soft-spoken yet vibrant woman who has been diagnosed with early onset dementia has dedicated more than one of the walls in her home to leaving notes for herself. Of these notes there is one that stands out to me always, like the brightest star on a night of a million stars. It reads, "A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails."

That wall represents what her mind used to be and the chaos of the scattered, mostly illegible notes clearly indicates its current condition.

I love her, so as I listen for what remains of that beautiful song I dedicate it all to my own jumbled array of thought and memory that I might be counted among her friends when the slate is left utterly and hopelessly blank.

... and inevitably it becomes a part of my own melody.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Consider it done

We all get to that point of sink or swim... but what about that point just before a psychotic break?

Monday, February 7, 2011

Child behind the glass

At first I wondered what makes a nine year old suicidal, then I remembered my own nine year old self. She will make it, I think, in the meantime she is pulling her hair out at the roots and my heart strings with it... I only hope I can spare my own daughter some of that horrific experience.

Lively though she is, turmoil follows her everywhere. I dust the frame surrounding her plastic smile while fighting tears at such inescapable knowledge. If only I could reach her from here...

Examine closely the world around you. A simple smile can save a life.

Breathing through the sadness. Dancing in the madness. And all that other silly stuff.

None of it matters, but it all has meaning. Influence. Whatever. There's a child behind the glass, and she needs more help than any one of us could offer.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Maybe its a metaphor, maybe it's not.

It's amazing what the sullen yellow glow of a porch light can do to a dead shrub covered in ice.