I've spent the biggest part of 2011 sleepwalking. It's true. Yes, I earned my first college degree and dealt with some serious catastrophe, but I did it all while sleep walking. Starting to pull up from this state of stagnation over the course of the last couple of months I've found it much more difficult to rise from the tarry pits of looming hopelessness and survival mode than imaginable.
Across every synapse and around every sinus in my skull I've found the tangles impossible to unravel and the colors without brilliance, it's all just completely dull.
What sort of resolution might I find in such a peculiar place? To tear down smoke screens and forgive the goddesses of beauty? To peel and open and revive and radiate a somewhat necrotic heart? To shed the dreams that weigh me down and chase the ones that could give me flight? To see reality and hold to self-made promises like imaginary best friends while releasing wishes into the wild like wounded animals nursed to health?
Put me in the woods and let me breathe like the trees. Roll me in the mud and let me wear the earth. Cast me boundless into the sea and let my inhibitions seep from my pores. Maybe then I'll know something. Maybe. Maybe. Perhaps.