Thursday, December 22, 2011

Winter Coping Mechanisms

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a debilitating issue for many sun-worshippers and other cold-weather, gray-sky haters.  This is a list of a few of my favorite methods for coping with the wretched frozen darkness we call winter.  As RedGreen says.... We're all in this together, I'm pulling for ya! *reels in imaginary fishing line*

10. Drink and be merry. If ever there was an excuse for alcohol consumption, keeping warm tops them all... Unless you believe in transubstantiation, in which case you should not be reading my list ...get thee to a nunnery!
9. Bigger, better bacon.

8. Go tanning. Warning: may cause skin cancer and/or unadulterated bliss.

7. There are two kinds of serenity in the world. One for those who crochet and one for those who knit. Join a side and roll with it. (Sidenote: The end result is almost always helpful for mechanism #2)

6. Plan your summer. Of course, it might seem like it sucks the spontaneity out of life but nobody said you had to do the details. That’s where the devil is anyway.

5. Maple-Syrup Snow Candy. It’s maple syrup, do you really need more convincing?

4. Build and army of non-violent snowmen to protest and protect against “the man”… really, this is the only time of year when it’s possible and it’s as effective as anything else you might try.

3. Stand outside and curse the sky. Not only does it release frustration but it keeps your neighbors from getting too personable.

2. Wear layers. It makes the end of the day strip-tease a lot more fun.

1. Pretend you are the white witch. A little imagination goes a long way.

*This should go without saying since it's spoken word, but just in case you need it said, curl up with a blanket, some sort of hot beverage, and have a dose of passionate verbiage. Feel free to start right here *

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